The Public Figures We Think We Know

By: Eli Verschleiser

“Baby I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream,” sings Taylor Swift in one of her pop songs.

Don’t believe it. The chart-topping Swift is widely known as one of the world’s nicest celebrities and regularly nurtures that image. When a couple tweeted that they became engaged at one of her concerts, she invited them backstage. After an encounter with some fans in a New York Park, she handed them $80 for lunch. And in perhaps her most touching moment, Swift recently donated $50,000 to a preteen fan fighting cancer after seeing her crowd-funding video.

While that donation surely was a smart business move as an investment in her wholesome brand, it shows she indisputably has heart and cares about being viewed that way. She was also branded as a champion of fellow musicians, including thousands far less successful, when she demanded last month that Apple pay royalties during a trial period for its new music subscription service, effectively forcing the world’s richest corporation to open its wallet.

This conflicts with so many other stars who are nightmares in real life and package themselves as wholesome.

For decades Bill Cosby pulled the wool over our eyes, portraying a wise and noble dad on TV, doling out sage advice to his son and daughters, and speaking out on moral issues, when apparently all that time he was a relentless sexual predator who abused women by drugging them.

Accusations against him are now bolstered by the revelation of a deposition in a civil trial, sealed but recently leaked, in which he seems to have admitted drugging women. He faces a civil trail in California, sued by a woman who says he abused her as a teenager.

Cosby’s career is finished, as well it should be. OJ Simpson may get an endorsement deal or TV work sooner than Cosby will.

It leaves me pondering the enigma of the people we think we know, and obsess over, watching their reality shows, poring over gossip magazines and tabloids that feature them, buying their products.

In this post-Howard Stern, social media world that seems constantly at war with boredom, it’s shock value that drives the discourse.

Which brings us to another “Trainwreck.” That’s the name of Amy Schumer’s hit movie, which has propelled her from obscure comedian to a queen of the summer box office with a respectable opening of over $30 million.

It has also cast a spotlight on her early act’s irreverent segments on race and earned some criticism. In one bit she suggested being raped by Hispanic men, and in another she ridiculed African American names and mannerisms.

But was that really a glimpse, as her Comedy Central show is called, “Inside Amy Schumer?”

The key to success for any comedian is to push the envelope, which gets much increasingly harder now that off-color, lewd or bawdy jokes have become de rigueur. The last frontier for shock value is race. But that’s a minefield.

Every comic plays a character on stage and, news flash, very little of what they say actually happened to them or reflects on what they actually believe. It’s clear from the routines that Schumer was trying to inhabit the character of a ditsy, privileged white girl with a blind spot on race and ethnicity, rather than parade the fact that she is one.

The bottom line is that people in general are complex, showing good and bad sides in various occasions. Add in the element of being a public figure and the narcissism that comes with it, and the picture of who they are and what’s in their hearts and souls gets even more murky and complicated. It may well be that living in the public spotlight actually drives people nuts.

Which makes it even more refreshing to see a celebrity use her fame and fortune and pulpit to set examples of kindness and gratitude. Hopefully Taylor swift can send the message that you can thrive in the limelight and be a huge success without losing your soul in the process.

Originally Published: The Huffington Post

Cosby Case Shows Need For More Victims’ Support

By: Eli Verschleiser

It is difficult, but not impossible to believe that the same man who was America’s favorite, funniest TV dad for eight years and served as a role model could be accused of horrible sexual trespasses over the course of his long life as a celebrity.

Nor, sadly, is it hard to accept the possibility since the end of his show in 1992, Bill Cosby spoke out publicly on responsibility and morality, while privately practicing neither.

Abusers can often be very affable and endearing leaders who espouse values they do not embody.

More surprising is the fact that Cosby, if he is guilty of these awful allegations has made it to this stage in his life without facing the consequences of his actions.

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Disbelievers may say this increases the doubt – why would victims stay silent when the star was at the peak of his popularity, only to come after him in his sunset years?

But to those of us who are active in the victim advocacy community, the silence of years or decades or even a lifetime is all too common.

Only years after the death of Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach, leader of a major spiritual revival movement, did a group of women come forward with tales of improper physical contact.

In the armed forces in particular, women subjected to abuse sometimes wait until they or their abuser have left the service until reporting crimes. In religious communities, fear of ostracization or even consequence from God as a result of accusing a revered clergyman can keep secretes perpetually buried and imperil more people.

And sadly, it’s safe to assume that whether the setting is a college campus, a home, church or yeshiva, a large share of incidents and, possibly the majority, will never be reported at all. In all too many cases, a result can be suicide, as the victim can live no longer with the torment.

When people do find the admirable courage to speak out and accuse the powerful of abuse, there can be a cascade effect, as in the case of Rabbi Baruch Lanner, who for years terrorized children involved in a youth group he ran. When stories emerged in a Jewish newspaper, more victims came forward to press charges that sent the rabbi to jail. That’s what we are seeing in the Cosby case as decades-old walls of silence collapse.

Attorney Gloria Allred, representing some alleged victims, has challenged the comedian to waive the statute of limitations and allow one of the cases against him to tried in court to settle the question of guilt or innocence. But this is more theatrical than realistic.

It’s likely that Cosby will only be tried in the court of public opinion.

So, absent convictions, the best result that can come from this disturbing list of allegations against a beloved figure who may have hoodwinked America about his character is that more victims will feel safe coming forward --  for their own good and for the sake of protecting other potential victims.  To do that, it’s incumbent on society, courts, lawmakers and others to establish better conditions for them.

We must do away with the sense of futility associated with coming forward. If it takes someone years to find the courage, or if they come forward in the interests of protecting others, they should not be hampered by the statute of limitations.

Professor Marci Hamilton one of the United States’ leading church/state scholars has advocated for extending criminal and civil Statutes of limitation (SOLs ) which can vary widely, from two or three years to 30 (as in the case of Connecticut) or no limitations at all as Arkansas and Alaska. These new legislation trends should be encouraged by all.

Another answer is greater education that empowers victims to come forward by teaching them to speak out at an early age. Organizations like Lauren's Kids and Magenu.org educates adults and children about sexual abuse topics through in school curricula and speaking engagements around the country.

Erin’s law, championed by Erin Merryn, promotes legislation for prevention education from kindergarten through high schools.  It is now law in 19 states. A similar law should be passed at the federal level to include all educators in America.

We have come a long way since the days when Bill Cosby’s crimes are alleged to have taken place. Hopefully better awareness and more empowerment will mean fewer people falling prey to these kinds of crimes, but we must do everything we can to ensure that today’s victims won’t be confronting their accusers decades down the road, if they do so at all.