Governor Cuomo and Legislature Must Show Leadership On Abuse

By: Eli Verschleiser

I have spent much of my life fighting for the protection of kids, teenagers, and the underdog. All too often I encounter young people whose lives were ruined by the scourge of sexual abuse which harms their self-esteem and ability to thrive and function as adults. It’s our responsibility to take every measure possible to hold abusers accountable and send a strong message to institutions that fail to stop abuse.

Legislation in the State Assembly, known as the Markey bill, would eliminate New York’s civil statute of limitations (currently absurdly capped at age 23) for crimes involving child sexual abuse going forward and create a one-year window for victims to file claims regardless of the elapsed time. The bill, sponsored by Assemblywoman Margaret Markey of Queens, has been proposed ten times previously, and now seemingly has enough supporters to pass the lower house. It could pick up even more support for passage with some strong advocacy from the state’s chief executive.

State Senators recently proposed a similar bill that would additionally remove a current requirement that those seeking to sue a public institution, such as a school, file a claim within 90 days. This would make public and private institutions equally accountable.

I discussed the topic and the Markey bill with the Governor over two years ago. He was very versed in the bill and was clearly in agreement to numerous parts of the bill conceptually.

But until recently Gov. Andrew Cuomo was playing his cards close to the vest on this, making vague public statements about protecting victims without commenting on the Markey bill.

After sustained pressure from abuse survivors and their substantial community of supporters, the governor finally agreed to support some reforms mentioned in the two bills.

“This is an incredibly important issue and we are serious about addressing the situation,” a Cuomo spokesman told The New York Daily News. “We have been discussing options with the Legislature …”

The governor is showing that he gets that it often takes abuse victims years, with the help of supporters and therapists to come to terms with the grievousness of their trauma. In many cases, they sadly tend to place their own welfare second to that of the abuser.

It remains to be seen if he will back a one-year window for those already stuck behind the statute of limitations for seeking redress for long-ago abuse.

Perhaps it’s the governor’s style to avoid too much comment on a bill that has not yet reached his desk, and still must be hammered out between legislators in both houses. But this is no ordinary bill. Lives are literally at stake. I have seen too many people fatally destroy their lives because of abuse, and so have all the activists who have pushed for this bill.

New York has been an activist state in many areas, such as marriage equality and gun control, and must not take a back seat on this issue. Some powerful interests oppose the bill because they fear a torrent of lawsuits that could pose an existential threat. But I am more worried about the existential threat to victims, and so should political leaders.

The Markey bill would put institutions on notice that looking the other way and failing to take strong, necessary action when there are signs of abuse by an employee or representative is dangerous. It would also send a strong compassionate message to victims that we as a society want them to come forward for healing and justice and that we will have their backs when they do so.

Hopefully the message will also trickle down to would-be abusers that they can’t take advantage of children and perpetrate their depraved acts and expect to get away with it, and that they should get help for their compulsions. A pedophile who gets away with his or her first crime is likely to continue with over 100 more victims, making it crucial that they be stopped at the earliest juncture.

Should we be concerned that institutions could face an insurmountable cascade of lawsuits, some of them involving former, perhaps temporary employees, incurring legal expenses that impede their ability to function? Yes, but the burden of proof on the accuser remains high. Experienced investigators and prosecutors know how to detect false claims, which are very rare in the first place given the stigma attached to sexual abuse.

I hope we can be confident that our system of laws and courts can weed out false claims and uphold the rights of victims to come forward and seek justice, no matter how long it has taken them to muster the support and courage.

There are only a few session days left before the June 16 end of the legislative session. Too much is at stake to wait until the next session.

If  Governor Cuomo and other members of the Legislature have concerns about this matter let him air them in the marketplace of ideas and seek changes in the final version of the bill.

But sitting on his hands and avoiding the subject isn’t an option for a leader. His words in support of this bill must translate into action, now.

Originally Published on: The Huffington Post

The Public Figures We Think We Know

By: Eli Verschleiser

“Baby I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream,” sings Taylor Swift in one of her pop songs.

Don’t believe it. The chart-topping Swift is widely known as one of the world’s nicest celebrities and regularly nurtures that image. When a couple tweeted that they became engaged at one of her concerts, she invited them backstage. After an encounter with some fans in a New York Park, she handed them $80 for lunch. And in perhaps her most touching moment, Swift recently donated $50,000 to a preteen fan fighting cancer after seeing her crowd-funding video.

While that donation surely was a smart business move as an investment in her wholesome brand, it shows she indisputably has heart and cares about being viewed that way. She was also branded as a champion of fellow musicians, including thousands far less successful, when she demanded last month that Apple pay royalties during a trial period for its new music subscription service, effectively forcing the world’s richest corporation to open its wallet.

This conflicts with so many other stars who are nightmares in real life and package themselves as wholesome.

For decades Bill Cosby pulled the wool over our eyes, portraying a wise and noble dad on TV, doling out sage advice to his son and daughters, and speaking out on moral issues, when apparently all that time he was a relentless sexual predator who abused women by drugging them.

Accusations against him are now bolstered by the revelation of a deposition in a civil trial, sealed but recently leaked, in which he seems to have admitted drugging women. He faces a civil trail in California, sued by a woman who says he abused her as a teenager.

Cosby’s career is finished, as well it should be. OJ Simpson may get an endorsement deal or TV work sooner than Cosby will.

It leaves me pondering the enigma of the people we think we know, and obsess over, watching their reality shows, poring over gossip magazines and tabloids that feature them, buying their products.

In this post-Howard Stern, social media world that seems constantly at war with boredom, it’s shock value that drives the discourse.

Which brings us to another “Trainwreck.” That’s the name of Amy Schumer’s hit movie, which has propelled her from obscure comedian to a queen of the summer box office with a respectable opening of over $30 million.

It has also cast a spotlight on her early act’s irreverent segments on race and earned some criticism. In one bit she suggested being raped by Hispanic men, and in another she ridiculed African American names and mannerisms.

But was that really a glimpse, as her Comedy Central show is called, “Inside Amy Schumer?”

The key to success for any comedian is to push the envelope, which gets much increasingly harder now that off-color, lewd or bawdy jokes have become de rigueur. The last frontier for shock value is race. But that’s a minefield.

Every comic plays a character on stage and, news flash, very little of what they say actually happened to them or reflects on what they actually believe. It’s clear from the routines that Schumer was trying to inhabit the character of a ditsy, privileged white girl with a blind spot on race and ethnicity, rather than parade the fact that she is one.

The bottom line is that people in general are complex, showing good and bad sides in various occasions. Add in the element of being a public figure and the narcissism that comes with it, and the picture of who they are and what’s in their hearts and souls gets even more murky and complicated. It may well be that living in the public spotlight actually drives people nuts.

Which makes it even more refreshing to see a celebrity use her fame and fortune and pulpit to set examples of kindness and gratitude. Hopefully Taylor swift can send the message that you can thrive in the limelight and be a huge success without losing your soul in the process.

Originally Published: The Huffington Post

The Mystery of Etan Patz Will Never End

By: Eli Verschleiser

Regardless of whether a jury convicts Pedro Hernandez in the May, 1979 killing of Etan Patz, the mystery of this case that has stirred the city for decades won’t go away.

Etan, eight at the time, disappeared while walking from his Lower Manhattan home to a bus stop two blocks away. He is believed to have stopped in a store for a soda along the way. He became the nation’s best known missing child case, launching legislative efforts and milk-carton awareness campaigns. Hernandez, then 18, worked at a nearby bodega.

With no body and no crime scene, all evidence is circumstantial, and Hernandez’s low IQ and long history of mental illness leave open the possibility that his confession and supposed recollections of the murder are at odds with reality. Even if the jury sees no reasonable doubt that he’s guilty, many of us will forever wonder if a dangerous child-killer may still walk the streets.

Another disturbing question posed by this case is how the police in a major metropolitan city, with some of the world’s best detectives could have found no clues, no leads that developed into a conviction for so long.

Another suspect, Jose Antonio Ramos, was investigated for the crime and even sued in civil court but was never prosecuted. There was no shortage of publicity of the disappearance. Did no one in this crowded metropolis see anything that could have helped the investigation? If Hernandez is the killer, why were his confessions over the years to family members, a prayer group and even the police ignored?

Could today’s better forensic science, ubiquitous security and cell phone cameras, better investigative techniques, or the “see something say something” campaign have led to a quicker arrest?

Etan’s parents, Stanley and Julie, may God have mercy on them, have suffered under the cloud of these and many other questions for nearly 36 years, while wondering what their now 44-year-old son would have been like. And despite being declared legally dead in 2001, is it possible that he remains alive, held against his will, perhaps brainwashed, or sent to another country? If so, would he even remember his former life?

Underpinning it all is the heaviest and most painful question: What if Etan had never been allowed to walk alone to the bus that morning?

Every day we as parents struggle with seemingly small, logistical decisions we know could have much bigger implications; Decisions about trusting kids, or trusting others with our kids. The Patz case, and others like it -- more recently the Leibby Kletzky disappearance and murder in Borough Park in 2011 -- loom over us as we make these decisions, forcing us to balance the real danger of abusers and kidnappers against the potential harm of being overprotective “helicopter parents” hovering too closely over their every move. Time doesn’t erase our memory or ease our angst.

“When people think about crimes such as Etan Patz or Adam Walsh or Jaycee Dugard, it’s as if they happened yesterday,” says Lenore Skenazy, author “Free Range Kids” and a critic of helicopter parenting.

“It is not making kids any safer to think that way. The big challenge when these things happen is to avoid what I call worst-first thinking.”

We’ve passed laws, named for famous victims, across the country to protect kids, and developed Amber Alerts and even smartphone apps to quickly respond when kids go missing. The ability to call or track cell phones also make us breathe a bit easier. The number of missing persons under age 18 reported to the FBI’s National Crime Information Center has shrunk from 558,493 in 2009 to 466,949 last year, though that figure was up from 2013’s 462,567.

Kidnappings are statistically rare per capita and those ending in murder rarer still, averaging about 100 per year, according to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children. Kidnapping by strangers amount to less than a quarter of all such cases, with nearly half committed by family members and the remainder by acquaintances, according to the FBI.

Skenazy argues that the only way to truly protect kids is through empowerment. “You can’t always prepare the path for your child,” she says. “Sometimes you have to prepare your child for the path.”

At Magenu, the organization I co-founded with my dear wife Dr. Shani Verschleiser, curriculum's prepared and facilitated by experts teach school kids to recognize dangerous situations, avoid them and report anything out of the ordinary, even if the perpetrator or attempted perpetrator is a family member, friend teacher or respected community member. Because education, awareness and a safe haven for those who come forward are more powerful tools than any app.

The painful questions of the Patz case will never go away, and future cases will force us to confront them again. The best we can do is combine our faith in God and the good people of the world – police officers and other protectors as well as bystanders on streets – with common sense skills that empower our kids to be as safe as they can be.

Originally Published: The Jerusalem Post

Does Obama 'have the back' of our children, too?

By: Eli Verschleiser

President Barack Obama deserves credit for making the war against sexual assault on college campuses a top priority of his administration. In January, he created a task force of senior officials to coordinate federal enforcement efforts. And this month he created a government-run web site, notalone.gov, which will provide resources for students, help for victims and help track enforcement efforts.

Photo: D2L

“Perhaps most important, we need to keep saying to anyone out there that has ever been assaulted: you are not alone,” said President Obama. “We have your back. I’ve got your back."

It’s time for the White House to show it also has the back of children who undergo the horror of sexual abuse, by taking real action.

The White House Council on Women and Girls was created in response to members of Congress repeatedly sounding appropriate alarms about sexual assaults, mostly against women, in the military and on college campuses, leading to the president’s stronger posture.

What grassroots group is applying similar pressure to stamp out the scourge of children who are abused by relatives, teachers, authority figures and others to whom they have difficulty saying no, or reporting to their parents or police after they are victimized?

Consider the following:

• 1 in four girls and 1 in six boys under the age of are sexually violated before age 18.

• Every year more than 3 million reports of child abuse are made in the United States involving more than 6 million children.

• The United States has one of the worst records among industrialized nations – losing on average between four and seven children every day to child abuse and neglect.

• More than 90 percent of juvenile sexual abuse victims know their perpetrator in some way. 

I know the president takes these matters very seriously. He declared April National Child Abuse Prevention Month, vowing that “We all have a role to play in preventing child abuse and neglect and in helping young victims recover,” and encouraging Americans to look for warning signs such as changes in behavior and performance, untreated physical or medical issues, lack of adult supervision, and constant alertness.

Resources are also available on the Administration for Children and Families’ web site.

But just as it was important to up the ante against date rape or assaults in the military, it’s past time for tougher action, on both the federal and state level against the abuse of the weakest segment of our society. The president could start by calling on states to take a tougher stand and meet established federal benchmarks in fighting abuse.

The White House could hold state governments accountable by tying federal education funding to their efforts, commitment to and progress toward anti-abuse awareness programs.

The federal government could also mandate education both for teachers and students in abuse awareness and prevention, the same way they do to establish standards in math, science and other disciplines.

Another measure that could be implemented on the federal level would be mandating that “sexual predator” is stamped on the driver’s licenses of convicted offenders via the REAL ID act, similar to a recent provision in the state of Florida. Florida’s bundle of exemplary new laws make it the harshest in the country for sexual predators.

According to the Sun-Sentinel in south Florida -- which conducted an investigation by mining records in state databases, police reports and court documents -- nearly one quarter of sex offenders attacked again within six months of being released.

And these numbers do not include people living in Florida convicted in other states or federal court and those arrested but still awaiting trial for new sex crimes. The Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS,) in a study released in 2003 claims that compared to non-sex offenders released from state prisons, released sex offenders were four times more likely to be rearrested for a sex crime.

“One person re-offending when you have innocent victims is too many,’’ said Lauren Book, founder of Lauren's Kids, which advocates for victims of childhood sexual abuse and is an ardent supporter of Florida’s civil commitment efforts.

"These are children. And so I fight every day to make it so that these monsters, these sexually deviant behaving individuals are as far away from our children as humanly possible,” she said.

Isn’t the ability to quickly identify unsafe situations, loudly and clearly say “No!” to a potential abuser and/or quickly tell a trusted adult about the abuse of equal importance to our children’s future as the mastery of scholastic skills? Even more so, when we consider that children who suffer abuse will often not only fall behind academically but are more prone to dysfunctional or even criminal behavior as adults, including the abuse of others.

I hope Obama will go beyond awareness months and speeches and begin to treat sexual and other forms or abuse against children as the public health hazard that it is.

Originally Published: The Hill